🐓 Cock 🐓
- 3 Piece Chicken TendersThree hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room$14.95
- 6 Piece Chicken TendersSix hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room$22.94
- 4 PC Vegan TendersFour perfectly fried Beyond Meat tenders serviced with your choice of fries or tots$14.95
- Dick 'N ChickenTwo of our chicken tenders topped with bacon, Willy Sauce, and a Cinnamon Toast Cock jammed in between them
🍆 Tops 🍆
- Cock Meat SandwichJumbo fried chicken tender, jalapeno ranch, bacon crumbles, and tomato on a warmed pretzel bun.$11.00
- Chicken Bacon CrunchwrapHouse made ranch slathered on fried chicken, bacon crumbles, romaine, tomato, Cool Ranch Doritos, tostadas, in a green herb tortilla$11.00
- Smash That Ass BurgerDouble smashburger, cheddar, burger sauce, lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles on a pretzel bun.$11.00
Sides 🍟
- Hand-Cut French FriesOur fries don't come out of a bag—they’re crafted. Each batch starts with potatoes we cut in-house, then brine for flavor and tenderness. After that, we blanch them to perfection before frying them to order, so they’re crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and always served hot. Twice-fried, brined, and worth every step.$4.60
- Hand-Cut Fries W/Side Dick CheeseWe start with thick, golden fries-hand-cut and twice fried until they're crisp enough to bite back. Then we serve them with our\r\nunapologetically filthy dick cheese, a smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar that melts into every crack and crevice. These fries aren't here to play-they're here to wreck you in the best way possible.$6.90
- Tater ThotsFresh and crispy balls, seasoned to perfection$4.00
- Tater Thots W/Side Dick CheeseCrispy, golden tater thots, fried to perfection and served with a side of our thick, creamy dick cheese. This smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar isn't just a dip-it's a full-on experience. Dunk, drizzle, or smother your tots in as much of it as you can handle.$6.90
- Fisted And Loaded ThotsWe don't just smash our thots-we dominate them. Pounded then loaded with our scandalously mouth-watering "dick cheese" a seductive blend of smoked gouda, sharp cheddar, and a spicy little kick. Then, we go all the way, topping them with crispy bacon, fresh green onion, and a playful touch of parsley. Bold, naughty, and downright irresistible-are you ready to get loaded?$7.00
- Cinnamon TwistsFreshly fried and puffed cinnamon twists$4.00
- Ketchup ChipsHouse sliced and fried potato chips dusted with our chef's proprietary ketchup spice!$4.00
Sauces 💦
- Side Of Dick CheeseThis isn’t just cheese—it’s a full-blown flavor scandal. A dangerously creamy ménage à trois of smoked gouda, sharp cheddar, and a spicy kick that’ll have your taste buds begging for mercy. Thick, smooth, and unapologetically dirty, it’s perfect for slathering, dipping, or licking straight off the spoon. One taste, and you’ll know: this cheese doesn’t just tease—it'll make you wanna squeeze for more.$3.00
- Side Of Spicy BBQSmoky, rich, and just a little spicy—this sauce brings the heat and knows how to linger. Served hot to unlock every layer of flavor.$3.00
- Side Of RanchCool, creamy, and made in-house with a kiss of sour cream and dill. It’s fresh, it’s tangy, and it’s downright addictive.$3.00
- Side Of Jalapeño RanchOur fresh, creamy ranch gets a fiery twist with jalapeños and a serrano pepper for that extra kick. Cool, smooth, and hotter than your toxic ex that keeps you coming back for more.$3.00
- Side Of Honey MustardTriple Threat Honey Mustard. Sweet, tangy, and packing a punch with three mustards that come together for the perfect kick. It’s smooth, bold, and dangerously dip-worthy.$3.00
- Side Of Buffalo SauceBold, tangy, and unapologetically hot—made with Frank’s RedHot for that classic kick that hits every time.$3.00
- Side Of Maple AoliMaple Aoli$3.00
- Side Of Blue CheeseThick, creamy, and unapologetically bold. Loaded with chunks and big on flavor, it’s smooth enough to keep you coming back for more.$3.00
- Side Of Jamaican Me JERK It SauceSpicy, smoky, and packed with flavor. This house-made jerk sauce hits hard like a bold Jamaican rub, but smooth enough to dip into again and again.$3.00
🐓 Cock 🐓
- 3 Piece Chicken TendersThree hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room
- 6 Piece Chicken TendersSix hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room
- 3 Piece Uncut Jumbo Chargrilled Chicken TendersBig, juicy, and charrgrilled to perfection. Served hot with a side and a handmade sauce that’s just begging to be dipped into.
- 4 PC Vegan TendersFour perfectly fried Beyond Meat tenders serviced with your choice of fries or tots
- Dick 'N ChickenTwo of our chicken tenders topped with bacon, Willy Sauce, and a Cinnamon Toast Cock jammed in between them
🍆 Tops 🍆
- Buff ChickA jumbo fried chicken tender tossed in buffalo sauce, and topped with blue cheese, celery, shredded romaine, red onion, carrot, and red wine cabbage on a pretzel bun$11.00
- Cock Meat SandwichJumbo fried chicken tender, jalapeno ranch, bacon crumbles, and tomato on a warmed pretzel bun.$11.00
- Chicken & Twat Waffle SandwichCornflake & waffle cone breaded chicken tender, Willy Sauce, bacon crumbles, tomato, and shredded romaine between two twat waffles$13.00
- Chicken Bacon CrunchwrapHouse made ranch slathered on fried chicken, bacon crumbles, romaine, tomato, Cool Ranch Doritos, tostadas, in a green herb tortilla$11.00
- Smash That Ass BurgerDouble smashburger, cheddar, burger sauce, lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles on a pretzel bun.$11.00
- Brokeback BurgerOur version of a rodeo burger! Double smashburger, bacon, cheddar, BBQ sauce, frizzled onion strings, DonkeyPunch sauce, and onion on a pretzel bun.$13.00
- McGangbangOur OG "Smash That Ass Burger" with a chicken tender bangin' away in the middle of those smashburger meat flaps. IYKYK!$17.00
🍑 Bottoms 🍑
- My Salad, TossedRomaine, 3 chargrilled chicken tenders, cucumber, cherry tomato, shaved radish, shredded carrot, with a side of dressing chosen below$14.00
- Caesar's TeaserRomaine, 3 chargrilled chicken tenders, cucumber, cherry tomato, shaved radish, grated Parmesan, house-made Caesar dressing. Available as a wrap or salad!$13.00
Sides 🍟
- Hand-Cut French FriesOur fries don't come out of a bag—they’re crafted. Each batch starts with potatoes we cut in-house, then brine for flavor and tenderness. After that, we blanch them to perfection before frying them to order, so they’re crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and always served hot. Twice-fried, brined, and worth every step.$4.60
- Hand-Cut Fries W/Side Dick CheeseWe start with thick, golden fries-hand-cut and twice fried until they're crisp enough to bite back. Then we serve them with our\r\nunapologetically filthy dick cheese, a smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar that melts into every crack and crevice. These fries aren't here to play-they're here to wreck you in the best way possible.$6.90
- Tater ThotsFresh and crispy balls, seasoned to perfection$4.00
- Tater Thots W/Side Dick CheeseCrispy, golden tater thots, fried to perfection and served with a side of our thick, creamy dick cheese. This smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar isn't just a dip-it's a full-on experience. Dunk, drizzle, or smother your tots in as much of it as you can handle.$6.90
- Fisted And Loaded ThotsWe don't just smash our thots-we dominate them. Pounded then loaded with our scandalously mouth-watering "dick cheese" a seductive blend of smoked gouda, sharp cheddar, and a spicy little kick. Then, we go all the way, topping them with crispy bacon, fresh green onion, and a playful touch of parsley. Bold, naughty, and downright irresistible-are you ready to get loaded?$7.00
- Ketchup ChipsHouse sliced and fried potato chips dusted with our chef's proprietary ketchup spice!$4.00
- Cinnamon TwistsFreshly fried and puffed cinnamon twists$4.00
- Side SaladRomaine, 3 chargrilled chicken tenders, cucumber, cherry tomato, shaved radish, shredded carrot, with a side of dressing chosen below.$4.60
Sides 🍟
- Hand-Cut French FriesHand-cut, double fried french fries. Fresh, crispy, and seasoned to perfection.$4.00
- Hand-Cut Fries W/Side Dick CheeseHand-cut, double fried french fries. Fresh, crispy, and seasoned to perfection. This one is served with a side of mouthwatering house-made Willy cheese sauce$6.00
- Tater ThotsFresh and crispy balls, seasoned to perfection$4.00
- Tater Thots W/Side Dick CheeseCrispy, golden tater thots, fried to perfection and served with a side of our thick, creamy dick cheese. This smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar isn't just a dip-it's a full-on experience. Dunk, drizzle, or smother your tots in as much of it as you can handle.$6.90
- Fisted And Loaded ThotsWe don't just smash our thots-we dominate them. Pounded then loaded with our scandalously mouth-watering "dick cheese" a seductive blend of smoked gouda, sharp cheddar, and a spicy little kick. Then, we go all the way, topping them with crispy bacon, fresh green onion, and a playful touch of parsley. Bold, naughty, and downright irresistible-are you ready to get loaded?$7.00
- Ketchup ChipsWe cut our potato chips in-house, brine them for that perfect texture, then fry them crisp and golden. Once they’re ready, we dust them with our chef’s proprietary ketchup spice—a dry seasoning so spot-on, it tastes like the real deal but without the mess. It’s all the tangy, sweet, and savory goodness of classic ketchup, perfectly layered on every chip. No dipping required.$4.60
- Cinnamon TwistsFreshly fried and puffed cinnamon twists$4.00
- Side SaladRomaine, 3 chargrilled chicken tenders, cucumber, cherry tomato, shaved radish, shredded carrot, with a side of dressing chosen below.$4.60
Cock Waffles
- Waffle StomperChocolate sauce, Oreo crumbles, and powdered sugar. Tastes like a brownie! 💩$12.00
- Chocolate Money ShotA big chocolaty cock with white chocolate dripping down to your fingers$12.00
- Strawberry Money ShotGet a LOAD of this strawberry chocolate cock waffle with white chocolate dripping down its shaft.$12.00
- Cookies & CumLike a cookies 'n cream... a white chocolate cock waffle with Oreo crumbles and a creamy finish$12.00
- Happy CamperA big chocolatey Willy covered in house-made marshmallow, torched to perfection, and dusted with graham crackers$12.00
- Banana Batter BlasterA Willy dripping with warm and wet chocolate sauce, filled with daddy's banana cream filling... makes for an explosive first bite$12.00
- Rainbow RoadheadOur fruity white chocolate cock smothered in fruity pebbles and raspberry sauce.$12.00
- Blue BallsYou've been waiting... this white chocolate cock is busting at the seams as it delivers loads of raspberry, blueberry, and rainbow sprinkles.$12.00
- Cinnamon Toast COCKOpen wide for this classic maple glazed cock sprinkled with Cinnamon Toast Crunchy goodness.$12.00
- Plain WillyJust a bare, hot waffle—simple, smooth, and ready for whatever you’re in the mood for.$11.00
- Gummies - Bag Of DicksBag of 8 Mini Gummy Dicks$7.00
Twat Waffles
- Porn StarA chocolate covered twat waffle filled with white chocolate cum and a pearly clit piercing.$11.00
- Cream PieSoft, sweet, and dripping with indulgence. A white chocolate-covered waffle topped with graham cracker crust and filled with your choice of raspberry or blueberry.$11.00
- Pillow PrincessStrawberry white chocolate twat with a pearl pierced clit and white chocolate cum, on a pillow of house-made marshmallow.$11.00
- Aunt FlowA white chocolate twat with a deceptively delicious flow of raspberry sauce and sprinkles.$11.00
- Plain TwatSoft, warm, and ready for you—no toppings, just pure, sweet perfection.$10.00
Handmade Drinks
- WhorechataWe milk our almonds and our rice by hand in small batches to prepare the most delicious horchata you've ever had.
- Dirty Whore - Whorechata Cold BrewWe take our deliciously smooth house made whorechata and add a *stimulating* dose of our hand made small batch cold brew
- Cold BrewServed Black
- Hole MilkFor those who want a nice creamy finish to their dessert.$3.00
Drinks
- Water (16.9oz)16.9 fl oz cold water bottle$2.00
- Topo-Chico (12oz)Bubbles that tickle in all the right places. Let it tease your taste buds.$4.00
- Jarritos (12oz)Pineapple, Lime, Guava, or Mango – smooth, sweet, and ready to satisfy whatever flavor you’re craving.$4.00
- Red Bull (8.4oz)The little can that keeps you up all night. You know what to do with it.$4.00
- Sugar-Free Red Bull (8.4oz)Zero sugar, all stamina – because you’ve got enough sweetness for tonight.$4.00
- Coca-ColaThe cold, refreshing, sparkling classic that America loves.$2.00
- Diet CokeA crisp, refreshing taste you know and love with zero calories.$2.00
- SpriteThe cold, refreshing flavors of lemon and lime, perfectly blended.$2.00
