Timber Tavern Menu

Fries, cheese curd, fresh jalapenos, Andouille sausage, gravy

Fries, cheese curd, turkey breast, cranberry sauce, turkey gravy

Fries, fried cheese curd, ribeye, pork belly, gravy

If I was immature, I might refer to these as “Blue Balls,” but that would be childish and I’ve never made a tawdry joke in my life. Served with honey mustard. (Make sure these aren’t hot when you bite into them. They tend to explode a bit.)

Half a pound of chicken tenders with fries. Served with your choice of dipping sauces.

They’re like mozzarella sticks, just smaller and less difficult to eat. Served with marinara sauce.

Given the number of people that bitched at me for taking these off the menu a while ago, I suppose I should bring them back. Served with spicy ranch dipping sauce.

Waffle fries topped with shredded cheese and bacon, then broiled and covered with tomatoes, green onions, fresh jalapenos and drizzled with ranch dressing. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Shredded brussel sprouts sauteed with bacon bits and maple syrup. Because sometimes, cramming your arteries with fried appetizers isn’t the vibe.

Four pizza logs stuffed with pepperoni and cheese. Served with a side of marinara sauce.

Four soft pretzel sticks, baked to order, and served with cheese sauce for dipping…not for bathing or anything weird. Please satisfy your weird fetishes on your own time…but I want an invite.

Pulled pork, cheese sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, jalapenos, and green onions. Also, tortilla chips. They’re kind of an important part of nachos. Served with sour cream and salsa.

Grilled chicken, lettuce, croutons, & parmesan cheese, served dressed. Untimely betrayal available for an extra fee.

This is not a salad. This is a soup. If you’re expecting a salad, please seek medical attention.

Fried chicken coated in hot sauce and served with lettuce and tomato with blue cheese dressing on the side. If you’re just looking for a run of the mill crispy chicken sandwich, order this without sauce on it. No big thing.

It’s probably cultural appropriation but I’m in too deep already. Grilled waffles, crispy chicken, American cheese, and bacon…served with a side of maple syrup.

Grilled chicken, sautéed peppers, sautéed onions, and a three cheese blend live in a grilled flour tortilla. Served with tortilla chips and cheese sauce. Sub ribeye steak for chicken for $3.00.

Battered cod, a homemade red cabbage slaw, and chipotle aioli are stuffed into three flour tortillas. Served with tortilla chips and cheese sauce. One of our most popular items.

Fresh cooked turkey between two thick slices of white bread and smothered in gravy. Moist.

Shaved steak, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and American cheese on a grilled sub roll. Order this to enrage a vegan.

Fresh cooked turkey, Swiss cheese, sliced apples, bacon, cranberry sauce, and a splash of gravy are stuffed between two slices of grilled white bread. Just like Thanksgiving dinner, only this time your parents aren’t fighting and your feminist cousin isn’t whining about American imperialism and Palestine. No one cares, Emily.

Basically these are fried shrimp with a pretentious attitude, like they think they’re better than you. Eight shrimp served with sweet chili dipping sauce and a lemon wedge.

Just to make my dishwasher Gavin happy. A 10 oz piece of haddock, broiled, and served with a lemon wedge. (This can take a little while so please be patient.)

A 10 oz. piece of battered haddock served with a lemon wedge. A North Country staple.

Two breaded chicken filets, marinara sauce, and mozzarella served over pasta with garlic toast. Probably not as good as Emeril’s, but better than the one I had at a restaurant in San Diego on New Year’s Eve 2023. At least I got drunk.

Cheddar cheese, bacon, caramelized apples, and homemade maple aioli. Oddly satisfying, like when Dwight pepper-sprayed Roy. Also, Jim really did Karen dirty. She moves to Scranton and THEN he gets with Pam? What the hell?!

Our new signature burger…mini hashbrowns, American cheese, a fried egg, bacon, and a maple syrup drizzle. I definitely wasn’t under the influence of marijuana when I came up with this. Kurt Vonnegut would be proud.

A burger brushed with BBQ sauce and topped with cheese, pork belly, and onion straws. Unlike the post-Troy Aikman Dallas Cowboys, this burger can actually get past the divisional round.

Grilled mushrooms and Swiss cheese. This one doesn’t need much explaining.

American cheese with lettuce and tomato. Mayo served on the side by request. If you plop at the bar and ask for a cheeseburger because you’re too lazy to open the f*cking menu and read it like an adult, this is what you’ll get…though I suppose that explanation is a little paradoxical. Basically, you have no friends and life is meaningless.

A burger topped with American cheese and a mélange of bourbon-glazed onions along with sweet and spicy bacon bits. I’d make a joke about squealing like a pig, but that conjures up mental imagery from "Deliverance" and no one needs that.

In honor of when George Costanza flew too close to the sun on the wings of pastrami. Melted cheddar jack cheese, onion straws, BBQ pulled pork, and a burger on grilled white bread.

Mild, Medium, Hot, BBQ, Carolina Gold

Garlic Parmesan, Bourbon Molasses, Korean BBQ, Hot Honey, Berry Spicy

If you’re a chocolate fan (like every middle-aged white woman when they see Idris Elba), this is for you. Add a scoop of ice cream for $1.

Complimentary dessert sauce toppings by request. You really need a description for cheesecake? If you haven’t had it before, maybe dining out isn’t for you. You know, they’re putting ketchup in squeeze bottles now too.

What can I say, this is just really good…if you like apple pie, that is. If you don’t, we’re probably not going to be friends. Add a scoop of ice cream for $1. I wish I could raise a big apple out of the ground when someone orders this, like when the Mets hit a home run at CitiField. Oh well.

Two pieces of bread. Some cheese. Grilled. Served with fries.

Pasta sautéed in butter, devoid of any flavor or fun. Served with a piece of garlic toast.