House seasoned free range chicken with at least three types of seasonal veggies, served on bed of brown rice and beans.
$7.00
VEGAN Sausage Meal
Plant based Italian sausage, curry brown rice and beans, and seasonal veggies.
$9.00
Pot Roast
Slow cooked, well marbled chuck roast with at least three types of seasonal veggies served over curry brown rice and beans.
$9.00
Peppercorn Salmon Meal
Peppercorn wild salmon with at least three types of seasonal veggies, served on bed of brown rice and beans. Good for vitamin D, omega 3s, and protein.
$9.00
Italian Meatballs Meal
Beef meatballs, baked yam, at least three kinds of veggies. Served over bed or curry rice and beans.
$9.00
Vegan Black Bean Burger Patty Meal
Vegan and gluten free, served with seasonal veggies and over curry brown rice and beans.
Kale and collard greens, orange, apple, mango, banana, ginger, green-tea carrot juice.
$9.00
Tropical Breakfast
Orange, pineapple, mango, banana, carrot juice.
$8.00
The Nasty Shit
If you insist on getting what the owner drinks. Avocado, veggies, ginger. Basically a big ass salad without dressing. Money back if you don't take a better shit after drinking this.
$9.00
Coconut Smoothie
Fresh hacked coconut, meal and juice blended with a touch of banana and mango.
$10.00
Kimchi Smoothie
NOT vegan. Kimchi, kale, pineapple, orange, banana, carrot juice.
$8.00
Summer Berries
Strawberries, watermelon, pineapple, banana.
$9.00
Tropical Bugs Bunny
Mango, pineapple, banana, carrot juice
$9.00
Juices
Attitude Cleanse
It's the veggie juice with veggies of the day, heavy on the ginger. NO FRUIT, this is HARDCORE.
Avocado, kale and collards, apple, peanut butter, almond milk. Tastes like a milkshake but it's a complete meal that'll keep you full for 6-8 hours.
$9.00
The Supermodel
Avocado, kale, ginger, and veggies of the day (eg. broccoli, cauliflower, bell pepper...). No fruit, but protein powder gives it a green tea ice cream flavor. So not as gross as it sounds to some, it's just a big ass salad with protein. You'll poop well.
$9.00
Coconut Yam Protein Shake
Fresh hacked coconut -- meat and juice -- thickened with yam. Tastes like a milkshake.
$10.00
Savory Soups
16 Oz Curry Brown Rice & Beans
Good source of fiber and protein. Curry to fight cancer and you'll poop more and better, guaranteed.
$3.00
Beef Stew
Made with well marbled, slow cooked chuck round. Seasonal veggies too.
Poached eggs, free range chicken, lentils, and seasonal root veggies. UPDATE: no eggs due to tripling of costs of eggs. Cost will come down, it's a Covid outbreak at plant. More chicken instead.
$6.00
Weird Shit
Wheatgrass
Jamba Juice sells it, we don’t.
$97.00
Chicken Liver Pate
Pretend you're in Paris. Smooth chicken liver pate made with coconut milk, wood ear mushroom, capers, and cumin. Includes crackers to spread on.
$5.00
Pineapple Hearts
8 oz of heart shaped pineapples dipped in beet and ginger juice. Spicy and romantic.
$4.00
The Cocksucker
Formerly known as Pineapple Penises. Pineapple shaped like penises. Penises that taste like pineapple! Either way, you'll enjoy sucking on and biting into them. Post it on Instagram!
$5.00
How To Eat Like An Asshole
Book about food, nutrition, and manners. Find out if you eat like an asshole. It'll teach you how to eat ramen, Chinese food, and how to save money by not buying stupid shit that people think is healthy but isn't. Second edition includes footnotes.
$12.00
Juice Nazi Seeks Head Of Secret Police
In house written book on how to run the most controversial juice bar in the world. Can you pass our application test?
$12.00
How To Go To School Like An Asian (So You Don't Turn Into A Heroin Addict)
Curious about homeschooling? Ever fantasize about swapping your kid for an Asian one, even if the Asian is a paraplegic? Want to be Asian at school so you can win all sorts of awards, build robots named Tiffany, and get rejected by Harvard and Princeton but accepted at CalTech? Then this is the book on education for you! The notorious Juicy Nazi is back and ready to read your hate mail and death threats with his most offensive and triggering book since the b anned on Amazon cookbook, How to Cook Like a Racist. Here he breezily explains...
$10.00
Groceries
32 Oz Seasonal Fruit Platter
Pineapple, mango, and whatever is seasonal.
$8.00
32 Oz. Kirkland Organic Almond Milk
32 oz. container.
$5.00
16 Oz Turmeric Ginger Juice
No ice. Divide into shots or add to hot water to make tea. Highly anti-inflammatory, drink it when you're sick.
$20.00
Kirkland Organic Raw Honey
1lb 8oz.
$8.00
Be Kind, Not Nice Cotton Facemasks
Our in house facemasks. Soft, they're supposed to protect you from cooties in style. 70% off sale.
$3.00
Net WT 24 Oz, Collagen Peptides
From Vital Proteins, 20g of collagen per serving. Paleo and Keto friendly, grass fed and pasture raised cows. Unflavored.
$32.00
16 Oz Miso Paste
White miso paste. Male salad dressing and miso soup with it.
$5.00
Orgain Vegan Protein, 2.7 Lb
21 g plant protein, 5g prebiotic fiber, only 1g of sugar. Vanilla Bean flavor.
$33.00
16 Oz Flax Seed
flax seed, not grounded.
$5.00
Alive Juice Bar Pink T Shirt
Cotton, so sexy!
$20.00
Bakery
Slow Baked Chips
Satisfy chip cravings with tastier and more nutritious alternatives. Choose from yam, kale, and beet.
$3.00
Raw Carrot Cake
Raw carrot pulp binded with raw honey. Lemony ginger almond frosting. Sweet and high in fiber, it'll make your poop smell like Starbursts.
$3.00
Black Bean Brownies
Gluten-free and vegan. Tastes like a brownie except it's nutritious -- black beans, oats, cacao, maple syrup is the only sugar -- instead of empty calories. A guilt free dessert.
$4.00
Sexy Seasonal Salads
Mini Chickpea Salad
PIckled tomato, cucumber, chickpea, sesame oil.
$3.00
Beet Salad
Pickled beets, yopped with parmesan cheese and walnuts. Sweet and sour.
Whole yogurt (none of that low-fat shit that makes people fat), seasonal fruits, nuts, chia seeds, hemp seeds, dark chocolate.
$3.50
Snacks
Gluten-Free "Perfect Bar"
No preservatives, peanut butter bars.
$3.00
Lindt Dark Chocolate
Bar of high quality dark chocolate, good for heart health. 75% cacao.
$5.00
8 Oz. Dark Chocolate Coated Almonds
Healthy snack.
$4.00
16 Oz. Kimchi (Not Vegan)
Spicy cabbage kiimchi. Working on a vegan version.
$4.00
14 Fl Oz. Kombucha
Probiotic drink, low in sugar.
$5.00
Hempler's Uncured Landjaeger
Naturally hardwood smoked. No nitrites or nitrates added.
$3.00
Hummus Platter
Comes with carrots and celery sticks.
$6.00
Hot Drinks
Green Awakening
16 oz. Green tea, raw honey, lots and lots and lots of ginger, lemon. What people order when they're feeling sick because it's soothing and reduces inflammation.